A Question of Balance

A very small number of you who are reading this know me well enough to have ever heard me talk about the ‘Radio Station In My Head’. Now more of you will.This week I’ve been working on writing (at least 1/2 maybe 5/8 done with Act 2 of …In One Basket), marketing, cover design for Bk 3, correspondence with fellow authors, correspondence with friends, etc. Suddenly I got this niggling feeling that I should work on my blog. The niggle increased when I looked and found it has been more than 3 weeks since I last posted. Somewhere about then, the Moody Blues started up in my head: ♪♫♪Why do we never get an answer / when we’re knocking at the door…♪♫♪That kind of thing actually happens nearly all day. Sure, sometimes it’s one of those annoying earworms that got placed their by a ‘friend’ or simply by hearing an ad jingle or song… but for me, most of the time, it’s a subconscious reaction to something I’m thinking about. So, what dredged up a 1970s Moody Blues song that was nowhere nearly as popular as Nights in White Satin? I was wondering about how I was going to balance all the things I needed to do. Boom. Moody Blues.

I remembered the album was called A Question of Balance and the opening track is Question (sample lyric above). With a little more searching of the murky gray matter, it seemed to me that the final song (on side 2) was The Balance. The murky gray matter refused to regurgitate any lyrics from that song, so I had to rely on my ‘other’ brain… Google. A quick perusal of AZ Lyrics rebooted the sounds of that song in my mind. I think the reason I couldn’t come up with it was because most of the song is simply spoken. Only the chorus is sung. Annnnnnd… it’s kind of a hippie-dippy, Desiderata, peace love & understanding kind of thing. Sample: ‘And he saw magnificent perfection / Whereon he thought of himself in balance / And he knew he was’.

So before I got into the ‘explain the Radio Station In My Head’ thing, I was thinking about the Question of Balance. As an Indie Author with no publisher support, I have to do several tasks that take away from writing. There are several sources out there that ‘claim’ to do all the marketing support for you if you toss them some cash… and maybe that has some merit… but I have some Scottish blood (from my paternal grandmother), so I don’t like to throw money around. However, the strongest thing that holds me back is that annoying little inner voice that reminds me that I’m delusional about my writing… that NO ONE would ever consider me an author.

Which got me thinking about another Balance; that perfect zone between doubt and diva. When someone DOES gain a degree of success at their art (with their craft?), how do they manage to hang onto that little bit of self-doubt that keeps one humble?

“And he thought of those he angered,
For he was not a violent man,
And he thought of those he hurt
For he was not a cruel man
And he thought of those he frightened
For he was not an evil man,
And he understood.
He understood himself.” –The Balance

Whoa. Sage advice. Mind Blown (says the 17 year old still trapped somewhere inside). Unfortunately, the 44 years of experience since then tends to say, “it’s just not that easy, kid.”

So I continue to search, and be frustrated when I feel like I’m out of balance… but now maybe I feel just a little better, because at least I DID get a blog post written.

Oh… and I have to apologize in advance for what I’m about to do. You see, I realize MOST of you don’t have ‘Radio Station In The Head’ syndrome and usually only get the tunes running in your head when it’s an earworm.

♪♫♪Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale / A tale of a fateful trip / That started from this tropic port / Aboard this tiny ship♪♫♪